How Does Aspirin Find a Headache? Read online

  HOW DOES ASPIRIN FIND A HEADACHE?

  An Imponderables® Book

  David Feldman

  Illustrated by Kassie Schwan

  For Michele Gallery

  Contents

  Preface

  Why Don’t We Ever See Cockroaches in Our Usually Crumb-Filled Cars?

  Why Does Barbie Have Realistic Nylon Hair While Ken Is Stuck with Plastic Hair or Painted Hair?

  On the U.S. Penny, Why Is the “o” in the “UNITED STATES oF AMERICA” on the Reverse Side in Lower Case?

  What Do All the Chime Signals on Airlines Mean? Are They Uniform from Airline to Airline?

  Are Lions Really Afraid of Kitchen Chairs?

  Why Is Pistachio Ice Cream Colored Green?

  Why Are Graves Six Feet Deep and Who Determined They Should Be That Deep?

  Why Doesn’t Ham Change Color When Cooked, Like Other Meats?

  Why Does Warm Milk Serve as an Effective Sleep-Inducer for Many People?

  Why Doesn’t Glue Get Stuck in the Bottle?

  Why Don’t People in Old Photographs Ever Seem to Smile?

  Why Did Men Thrust Their Right Hand into Their Jackets in Old Photographs?

  Why Are Carpenter’s Pencils Square?

  Why Don’t Windshield Wipers in Buses Work in Tandem Like Auto Wipers?

  Why Were Athos, Porthos, and Aramis Called the Three Musketeers When They Fought with Swords Rather Than Muskets?

  Why Don’t Public Schools Teach First Aid and CPR Techniques?

  Why Do Peanuts in the Shell Usually Grow in Pairs?

  Why Are Children Taught How to Print Before They Learn Cursive Handwriting?

  Why Do Most Women’s Hairbrushes Have Long Handles When Men’s Hairbrushes Have Short Handles or No Handles at All?

  Why Do Some Ladybugs Have Spots and Others Have None?

  Why Does a Loud Bang or Opening and Closing the Oven Door Sometimes Make Soufflés and Cakes Fall in the Oven?

  Why Do Angel Food Cakes Have to Be Turned Upside-Down While Cooling?

  Why Have Auto Manufacturers Moved the Brights/Dimmer Switch from the Floorboard to the Stalk of the Steering Column?

  Why Is an Ineligible College Athlete Called a “Redshirt”? And Why Do Colleges Redshirt Players?

  If You Dig a Hole and Try to Plug the Hole with the Very Dirt You’ve Removed, Why Do You Never Have Enough Dirt to Refill the Hole?

  Why Was Twenty-one Chosen as the Age of Majority?

  Why Don’t Disc Jockeys Identify the Titles and Artists of the Songs They Play?

  Why Do Pigeons Make a Whistling Sound When They Take Off in Flight?

  What’s the Difference Between Skim and Nonfat Milk? And How Do They Skim the Fat from Whole Milk?

  Why Does Some Lowfat Milk Contain One Percent Fat and Other Lowfat Milk Contain Two Percent Fat?

  Why Do Plastic Gallon Milk Containers Have the Counter-Sunk Dips on Their Sides?

  Why Aren’t “Green Cards” Green?

  When Do Kids Turn into Goats?

  Why Do Baked Hams Usually Have a Checkerboard Pattern Along the Top?

  What Is the Emblem on the Pittsburgh Steelers’ Helmets? And Is There Any Particular Reason Why the Pittsburgh Steelers Are the Only NFL Team to Have Their Logo on Only One Side of Their Helmets?

  Why Did the Rabbit Die When a Pregnant Woman Took the “Rabbit Test”?

  Why Is It That What Looks to Us Like a Half-Moon Is Called a Quarter-Moon by Astronomers?

  What’s the Deal with the Grades of Architectural and Art Pencils? What Do “H,” “HB,” “F,” “B,” and “E” Stand For?

  How Do Hermit Crabs “Relieve Themselves” When in the Shell Without Getting Filthy? Or Do They Get Filthy?

  Why Does Getting a Hair in Our Mouth Make Us Gag?

  Why Does Pasta Create Foam When Boiling?

  Why Do Many Elderly People, Especially Those Missing Teeth, Constantly Display a Chewing Motion?

  Do Butterflies (and Other Insects) Sneeze or Cough? If So, Do They Do So Loud Enough for Humans to Hear?

  What Is the Liquid That Forms on Top of Yogurt? Is It Water or Does It Have Nutrients? Should It Be Drained or Stirred Back into the Yogurt?

  Why Do Most Yogurts Come with the Fruit on the Bottom? Why Not on the Top? Or Prestirred?

  Why Do You Need to Supply Oxygen to a Tropical Tank When Fish Are Quite Capable of Surviving Without Extra Oxygen in Lakes and Oceans? Why Do You See Oxygen Tanks More in Saltwater Aquariums Than Freshwater?

  What Happens to Criminals’ Firearms Confiscated by Police During Arrests?

  Why Is There a Worm on the Bottom of Some Tequila Bottles?

  Do Fish Pee?

  Why Are Screen Door Handles and Knobs Located Higher than Their “Regular” Counterparts?

  Why Aren’t Automobiles Designed So That the Headlamps Shut Off Automatically When the Ignition Key Is Removed?

  Why Do Many Blind People Wear Dark Glasses?

  Why Do Many Fast Food Restaurants and Convenience Stores Have Vertical Rulers Alongside Their Main Entranceways?

  What Does “100% Virgin Acrylic” Mean?

  Do Snakes Sneeze?

  Why Do Cookbooks Often Recommend Beating Egg Whites in a Copper Bowl?

  How Does Aspirin Find a Headache?

  Is Goofy Married? If Not, Where Did Television’s Goofy, Jr., Come From?

  Why Is “$” the Symbol for the American Dollar?

  What Do Paper Manufacturers Do with the “Holes” Punched Out of Looseleaf Paper? Do They Recycle Them?

  Why Do We Bury the Dead with Heads Toward the West Facing East?

  Why Do Birds Usually Take Flight Against the Wind?

  Why Do Geese Honk Furiously While Migrating? Doesn’t Honking Squander Their Energy on Long Flights?

  Why Do Scotsmen Wear Kilts? And Why Didn’t Men in Surrounding Areas Wear Kilts?

  Why Are the Muppets Left-Handed?

  Why Do We Have a Delayed Reaction to Sunburn? Why Is Sunburn Often More Evident Twenty-four Hours After We’ve Been Out in the Sun?

  Why Do Hockey Goalies Sometimes Bang Their Sticks on the Ice While the Puck Is on the Other End of the Rink?

  What Is the Substance That Resembles Red Paint Often Found on Circulated U.S. Coins? And Why Do Quarters Receive the Red Treatment More Often Than Other Coins?

  Why Are So Many Farm Plots Now Circular Instead of Squarish?

  Why Are Virginia, Massachusetts, Pennsylvania, and Kentucky Called “Commonwealths” Instead of “States”? What’s the Difference Between a Commonwealth and a State?

  How Do Engineers Decide Where to Put Curves on Highways?

  Why Are There So Many Different Types of Wine Glasses? Would Champagne Really Taste Worse If Drunk Out of a Burgundy Glass?

  Why Do Soft Breads Get Hard When They Get Stale While Hard Starches Like Crackers Get Softer When Stale?

  Why Do Hardcover Books Have Exposed, Checkered Cloth as Part of Their Bindings (on Top and Bottom)?

  Will Super Glue Stick to Teflon?

  Why Do Many Women’s Fingernails Turn Yellow After Repeated Use of Nail Polish?

  Why Are Most Corrugated Boxes from Japan Yellow?

  Why Are Covered Bridges Covered?

  How Do Waiters and Waitresses Get Their Tip Money When the Gratuity Is Placed on a Credit Card?

  Why Do Beacons on Police Cars Flash Blue and Red Lights? Why Are the Blue Lights on the Passenger’s Side and the Red Lights on the Driver’s Side?

  Why Is It So Hard to Find Single-Serving Cartons of Skim or Lowfat Milk? Why Is It So Hard to Find Single-Serving Cartons of Whole-Milk Chocolate Milk?

  What Happens to the Ink When Newspapers Are Recycled?

  Why
Do Lizards Sleep with One Eye Open?

  If Grapes Are Both Green and Purple, Why Are Grape Jellies Always Purple?

  Why Didn’t Fire Trucks Have Roofs Until Long After Cars and Trucks Had Roofs?

  Why Are There So Few Brazil Nuts in Mixed Nuts Assortments?

  Why Do American Doors Have Round Door Knobs, While Many Other Countries Use Handles?

  Why Do Starving Children Have Bloated Stomachs?

  Why Do Most Buses and Trucks Keep Their Engines Idling Rather Than Shutting Them Off While Waiting for Passengers or Cargo?

  Why Does One Sometimes Find Sand in the Pockets of New Blue Jeans?

  Why Do So Many Recreational Vehicle Owners Put Cardboard or Plywood Square Covers over Their Wheels?

  Why Are Most People Buried Without Shoes?

  What Is a “New York Steak”? Is It a Cut of Meat? Is It a Part of the Cow? And Why Can’t You Find “New York Steaks” in New York?

  Why Are Some Aluminum Cans—Even Different Cans of the Same Product—Harder to Crush Than Others?

  Why Are Pigs Roasted with an Apple in Their Mouths?

  Why Do Many Streets and Sidewalks Glitter? Is There a Secret Glittery Ingredient?

  Why Hasn’t Beer Been Marketed in Plastic Bottles Like Soft Drinks?

  Why Do Some Insects Fly in a Straight Line While Others Tend to Zigzag?

  What’s the Difference Between “French” and “Italian” Bread?

  Why Have So Many Pigeons in Big Cities Lost Their Toes?

  How Do Highway Officials Decide Where to Put a “Slippery When Wet” Sign?

  Can One Spider Get Caught in the Web of Another Spider? Would It Be Able to Navigate with the Skill of the Spinner?

  To Exactly What Is McDonald’s Referring When Its Signs Say “Over 95 Billion Served”?

  Why Are McDonald’s Straws Wider in Circumference Than Other Restaurant or Store-Bought Straws?

  Why Are the Burgers Upside-Down When You Unfold the Wrapper of a McDonald’s Hamburger?

  What, Exactly, Is the McDonald’s Character “The Grimace” Supposed to Be?

  What Did Barney Rubble Do for a Living?

  Why Do We Wave Polaroid Prints in the Air After They Come Out of the Camera?

  Frustables or the Ten Most Wanted Imponderables

  Frustable Update

  The Frustables That Will Not Die

  Frustables First Posed in Why Do Clocks Run Clockwise? and First Discussed in When Do Fish Sleep?

  Frustables First Posed in When Do Fish Sleep? and First Discussed in Why Do Dogs Have Wet Noses?

  Frustables First Posed in Why Do Dogs Have Wet Noses? and First Discussed in Do Penguins Have Knees?

  Frustables First Posed in Do Penguins Have Knees? and First Discussed in When Did Wild Poodles Roam the Earth?

  Letters

  Acknowledgments

  Searchable Terms

  Help!

  About the Author

  Other Books by David Feldman

  Credits

  Cover

  Copyright

  About the Publisher

  Preface

  We break down Imponderables into two categories. Type A Imponderables are the mysteries of everyday life that have always driven us nuts. Like why do lion tamers use kitchen chairs to fend off wild animals? Or why don’t disc jockeys identify the titles and artists of the songs they play anymore?

  Type B Imponderables are just as perplexing. These are mysteries we had never contemplated until our readers brought them to our attention. Believe us, we had never worried before about why the Muppets are left-handed, or why the Three Musketeers didn’t carry muskets. But once we heard the questions, we had to find out the answers.

  The readers of our last six Imponderables books have supplied us with scads of great Type A and Type B Imponderables. If we are stumped by a particularly challenging Imponderable, we convert it into a Frustable (short for Frustrating Imponderables) and ask readers to help bail us out. And in the Letters section, we let you enumerate our multifarious shortcomings.

  We implore you to help us in our quest to stamp out all types of Imponderability, wherever they should lurk. If you are the first to submit an Imponderable we use in a book or provide the best solution to a Frustable, we offer you a grateful acknowledgment and a complimentary autographed copy of that book.

  Want to contribute to this noble pursuit? See the last page to find out how you can join in. Don’t be afraid. We’re not carrying kitchen chairs.

  Why Don’t We Ever See Cockroaches in Our Usually Crumb-Filled Cars?

  Our correspondent, Manny Costa, wonders why an automobile, laden with assorted crumbs, wouldn’t be a buffet paradise for our little scampering friends. Mary H. Ross, professor of entomology at Virginia Polytechnic Institute, isn’t willing to state unequivocally that cockroaches are never found in cars, but she agrees it is rare. And she offers two main reasons why.

  For one, cars may get too cold. Cockroaches dislike the cold and would refuse to stay in the car. Secondly, water is essential for cockroaches’ survival and reproduction.

  Richard Kramer, director of research, education, and technical resources at the National Pest Control Association, told us that while cockroaches require food every seven to ten days, they must take in water every three days. Perhaps a cockroach might be attracted to a stretch limousine with a leaky wet bar, but most of us don’t drive limos.

  If you really want to entice cockroaches into your automobile, Kramer suggests scattering your empty beverage cans alongside your array of crumbs—you may be able to “support a cockroach infestation for a limited period of time.”

  Submitted by Manny Costa of Warwick, Rhode Island.

  Why Does Barbie Have Realistic Nylon Hair While Ken Is Stuck with Plastic Hair or Painted Hair?

  Poor Mattel is being attacked from all sides. Many feminists have criticized Barbie for setting up unrealistic expectations among girls about what their bodies should look like. Mattel answers, understandably, that Barbie was created to be a fashion doll, a model-mannequin suitable for hanging a variety of clothes upon. Of course, girls fantasize about themselves as Barbie, and this identification with the doll is precisely what the critics are worried about.

  As if these complaints weren’t enough for Mattel to worry about, here come six female Imponderables readers accusing the company of reverse discrimination. “What’s the deal with Ken’s hair?” they all wondered.