Why do Clocks run clockwise? Read online

  WHY DO CLOCKS

  RUN CLOCKWISE?

  An Imponderables®

  Book

  David Feldman

  Illustrated by Kassie Schwan

  For Michael Leo Feldman

  Contents

  Preface

  xxi

  WHAT is the purpose of the warning label on a

  mattress? And what happens if I rip it off?

  1

  WHY do dogs walk around in circles before lying

  down?

  2

  IF nothing sticks to Teflon, how do they get Teflon

  to stick to the pan?

  3

  WHY is the scoring system in tennis so weird?

  3

  WHY have humans lost most of their body hair?

  6

  WHY don’t people get goosebumps on their

  faces?

  8

  WHY doesn’t countdown leader on films count

  all the way to one?

  9

  WHEN a company sells lobster tails to restaurants

  and stores, what do they do with the rest of the

  lobster?

  9

  WHY do they need twenty mikes at press

  conferences?

  11

  WHY do some localities use salt and others use

  sand to treat icy roads?

  12

  vii

  WHY is the telephone touch-tone key pad arranged differently from the calculator key pad?

  14

  WHAT is the difference between a “kit” and a

  “caboodle”?

  15

  WHAT is the purpose of the ball on top of a flagpole?

  17

  WHY does Wayne Gretzky wear a ripped

  uniform?

  18

  WHY is there always pork in cans of pork and beans?

  19

  HOW do military cadets find their caps after tossing them in the air upon graduation?

  20

  WHY does American electricity run on A.C. rather than D.C.?

  21

  WHAT is that sniffing noise boxers make when throwing punches?

  22

  WHY, in any box of assorted chocolates, are the caramels square, the nougats rectangular, the nuts oval, and the creams circular?

  24

  WHATEVER happened to pay toilets?

  25

  WHEN a pothole is formed on the road, why don’t we see the displaced concrete?

  27

  WHY do most cities in the United States put a maximum-height restriction on a fence a homeowner may put around his residence?

  27

  WHY do your feet swell up so much in airplanes?

  31

  viii / DAVID FELDMAN

  WHY are hamburger-bun bottoms so thin?

  32

  WHY do golfers yell “fore” when warning of an errant golf shot?

  34

  WHY are all executions in the United States held between midnight and seven A.M.?

  34

  WHY do ants tend to congregate on sidewalks?

  37

  WHY do American cars now have side-view mirrors on the passenger side with the message,

  “Objects in the mirror are closer than they appear”?

  38

  WHY do dogs smell funny when they get wet?

  40

  Why do all dentist offices smell the same?

  41

  WHAT are those large knobs between sets of escalators in department stores?

  42

  WHY is Jack the nickname for John?

  43

  WHICH side gets the game ball when a football game ends in a tie?

  44

  WHY do ketchup bottles have necks so narrow that a spoon won’t fit inside?

  44

  Ivory Soap advertises its product as 99 and 44/100 percent pure—99 and 44/100 percent

  what? And what is the impure 56/100 percent of Ivory Soap?

  46

  WHY do we grow lawns around our houses?

  47

  WHY do many exterminators wear hard hats?

  51

  WHY DO CLOCKS RUN CLOCKWISE? / ix

  WHO was the Emmy that the Emmy Award is named after?

  52

  WHY don’t dogs develop laryngitis, sore throats, voice changes, or great discomfort after barking continuously?

  53

  WHY are there eighteen holes on a golf course?

  54

  WHAT does 0° in the Fahrenheit scale signify?

  55

  WHAT does each one-degree increment in the Fahrenheit scale signify?

  55

  WHY doesn’t rain come down the chimney into the fireplace when smoke can get out the chimney?

  57

  WHY do Curad bandage wrappers sparkle in the dark when you open them?

  58

  WHY do garment labels often say “Professionally

  Dry-clean Only”?

  59

  WHAT is the difference between “flotsam” and

  “jetsam”?

  60

  WHY do doughnuts have holes?

  62

  WHY does a newspaper tear smoothly vertically and raggedly horizontally?

  64

  WHY are the Netherlands also called Holland and the Low Countries? And why are its people called Dutch?

  65

  WHAT are those twitches and jerks that occasionally wake us just as we are falling asleep?

  67

  x / DAVID FELDMAN

  WHY are there twenty-one guns in a

  twenty-one-gun salute?

  68

  WHY do women tend to have higher voices than men? Why do short people tend to have higher voices than tall people?

  70

  Washington, D.C. streets are named

  alphabetically. Why is there no “J” Street?

  71

  WHAT happens to the tread that wears off tires?

  72

  WHY do whips make a cracking sound when snapped?

  74

  HOW did Xmas come to stand for Christmas?

  75

  DO batteries wear out faster if you turn up the volume of a radio?

  76

  WHY do some ranchers place old boots on fenceposts?

  77

  WHY do bananas, unlike other fruits, grow upward?

  81

  WHY is there a black dot in the middle of otherwise white bird droppings?

  83

  DO toilet-seat covers really protect us against anything?

  83

  WHY do sailors wear bell-bottom trousers?

  84

  WHY doesn’t sugar spoil or get moldy?

  85

  WHY do nurses wear white? Why do surgeons wear blue or green when operating?

  86

  WHY DO CLOCKS RUN CLOCKWISE? / xi

  WHY doesn’t a “two-by-four” measure two inches by four inches?

  87

  WHY is an acre 43,560 square feet?

  89

  WHY do men’s bicycles have a crossbar?

  90

  WHY is royalty referred to as “blue-blooded”?

  91

  WHY are people immune to their own body odor?

  92

  WHY are the outside edges of the pages of many paperback books colored?

  93

  HOW do they shell pine nuts?

  94

  HOW can owners of small cemeteries make money? How can they plan their finances when they have to wait for people to die before they derive income?

  95

  WHY are most homes painted white?

&nbs
p; 100

  WHY is one side of Reynolds Wrap aluminum foil shiny and the other side dull?

  102

  WHY do superficial paper cuts tend to hurt more than grosser cuts?

  103

  WHY does the brightest setting of a three-way light bulb always burn out first?

  104

  HOW do three-way light bulbs work? How do the bulbs “know” at which intensity to shine?

  105

  WHY do snakes dart out their tongues?

  106

  xii / DAVID FELDMAN

  WHERE do they get that organ music in skating rinks?

  107

  WHAT do Federal Express delivery people do after 10:30 A.M.?

  109

  WHY do so many mass mailers use return envelopes with windows?

  111

  WHY does the skin on the extremities wrinkle after a bath? And why only the extremities?

  112

  WHAT happens to the razor blades that are thrown down used-blade slots in hotels?

  113

  WHY doesn’t evaporated milk have to be refrigerated?

  114

  WHY is evaporated milk sold in soldered cans?

  114

  WHAT causes the ringing sound you get in your ears?

  115

  HOW did chocolate bunnies for Easter come about?

  116

  WHY do old women dye their hair blue?

  117

  WHAT are the criteria for the placement of a

  “Dangerous Curve” or “Dangerous Turn” sign?

  119

  WHY don’t we ever see dead birds?

  120

  WHY do all packaged bakery goods seem to be registered by the Pennsylvania Department of Agriculture?

  121

  WHY DO CLOCKS RUN CLOCKWISE? / xiii

  HOW do they keep all the raisins in cereal boxes from falling to the bottom?

  123

  WHY do runs in stockings usually run up?

  124

  DOES putting women’s hosiery in the freezer forestall runs?

  125

  WHY do traffic signals use red, yellow, and green lights? Why is the red light on top, green light on the bottom, and yellow light in between?

  126

  WHY are cows usually milked from the right side?

  128

  WHY do many merchants ask customers to put their addresses and phone numbers on credit card slips?

  129

  ON airplanes, why do our ears pop and bother us more on descent than on ascent?

  130

  WHERE do houseflies go during the winter?

  133

  WHERE does white pepper come from?

  135

  WHAT purpose do wisdom teeth serve?

  137

  WHY are ancient cities buried in layers? And where did the dirt come from?

  138

  WHAT’S the difference between an X-rated movie and an XXX-rated movie? Why isn’t there an “XX”

  rating?

  141

  WHERE does a new speed limit begin? Does it

  start at the speed limit sign, at some point beyond

  143

  xiv / DAVID FELDMAN

  the sign, or where the sign becomes clearly

  visible?

  IF the national speed limit is 55 miles per hour,

  why do speedometers go up to 85 miles per hour

  and higher?

  144

  WHAT is the purpose of pubic and underarm

  hair, the only body hair that men and women

  share in abundance?

  146

  WHY do construction crews put pine trees on top

  of buildings they are working on?

  147

  WHY aren’t whitewall auto tires as wide as they

  used to be?

  149

  WHY do clocks run “clockwise”?

  150

  ON clocks and watches with roman numerals,

  why is four usually noted as IIII rather than IV?

  151

  WHY are rain clouds dark?

  152

  WHY are so many corporations incorporated in

  Delaware?

  153

  WHY does Coca-Cola from a small bottle taste

  better than Coca-Cola from a large bottle or can?

  157

  WHY and when was 1982-1984 chosen to replace

  1967 as the base year for the Consumer Price

  Index? Why wasn’t it changed after ten years?

  159

  WHY do firehouses have dalmatians?

  162

  Doughnut-shop employees always pick up the

  doughnuts with a tissue so that their hands never

  164

  WHY DO CLOCKS RUN CLOCKWISE? / xv

  touch the doughnuts. Why do they then put the

  same tissue in with the doughnuts for the

  customer to carry home—germs and all?

  WHY is scoring three goals in hockey called a hat

  trick?

  165

  WHAT are the names on the bottom of grocery

  sacks?

  166

  WHY do Chinese restaurants use monosodium

  glutamate?

  168

  WHY do old men wear their pants higher than

  young men?

  171

  WHY are Oreos called “Oreos”?

  173

  WHAT are those funny numbers on the bottom

  of copyright pages in books?

  175

  WHY is 40 percent alcohol called 80 proof?

  177

  WHY are humans most comfortable at 72° F?

  Why not at 98.6° F?

  178

  WHY do they call large trucks “semis”?

  Semi- whats?

  179

  WHY does San Francisco sourdough bread taste

  different from other sourdough French breads?

  180

  DOES the U.S. Postal Service add flavoring to the

  glue on postage stamps to make the taste more

  palatable?

  182

  WHY do wagon wheels in westerns appear to be

  spinning backward?

  183

  xvi / DAVID FELDMAN

  WHY does unscented hair spray smell?

  184

  WHY does heat lightning always seem far away?

  And why don’t you ever hear thunder during heat

  lightning?

  185

  WHY can’t hair grow on a vaccination mark?

  186

  WHAT kind of hen lays extra-large eggs? What

  determines the size categories of chicken eggs?

  186

  WHY do some chickens lay brown eggs and

  others lay white eggs?

  189

  HOW did the expression “two bits” come to mean

  25 cents? How did “two bit” come to mean

  “cheap”?

  191

  WHY did Volkswagen discontinue making the

  “Bug”?

  192

  WHY are the flush handles on toilets on the left

  side?

  195

  WHY does the price of gas end in nine-tenths of

  a cent?

  197

  WHEN I open the hot-water tap, why does the

  sound of the running water change as it gets hot?

  199

  THE measurement of “one foot” was meant to

  approximate the length of a man’s foot. How did

  they decide how long a meter should be?

  200

  WHY does the moon appear bigger at the horizon

  than up in the sky?

  202

  WHY DO CLOCKS RUN CLOCKWISE? / xvii

  IF we see mockingbirds during the day and hear

  them at night, when do they sleep?

  205

  WHY
were Phillips screws and screwdrivers

  developed?

  206

  WHY do trucks now say their contents are

  “flammable” when they used to say

  “inflammable”?

  207

  WHY can’t they make newspapers that don’t

  smudge?

  209

  HOW and why do horses sleep standing up?

  212

  WHY is seawater blue and tap water clear? Why

  does the color of the ocean range from blue to

  red?

  213

  WHY don’t kitchen sinks have an overflow

  mechanism?

  214

  WHY do you have to dry-clean raincoats?

  216

  WHAT is the purpose of the white half-moons on

  the bases of our fingernails and toenails? And

  why don’t they grow out with the nails?

  218

  CAN raisins be made from seeded grapes?

  218

  WHEN a fly alights on the ceiling, does it perform

  a loop or a roll in order to get upside down?

  220

  HOW can “perpetual care” be assured in

  cemeteries after they run out of space for new

  plots?

  221

  xviii / DAVID FELDMAN

  WHAT is the purpose of the pinholes around the

  sides of screw caps on soft-drink bottles?

  223

  WHY are military medals worn on the left?

  223

  WHY do bicycle tires go flat when the bike isn’t

  used for long periods of time?

  224

  HOW do they print the “M&M” on M&M’s

  chocolate candies?

  227

  WHY are there no seams on M&M’s?

  228

  WHAT does M&M stand for?

  228

  WHY are there more brown M&M’s than any

  other color, and how do they determine the ratio

  of colors?

  228

  WHY did they take away red M&M’s? Why have

  they put them back recently?

  229

  HOW do manufacturers decide whether freezers

  go on the top or the bottom of refrigerators?

  230

  WHY do hot dogs come ten to a package and

  hot-dog buns come eight to a package?

  232

  FRUSTRABLES, or the ten “most wanted”

  Imponderables

  236

  WHY do you so often see one shoe lying on the

  side of the road?

  236

  WHY are buttons on men’s shirts and jackets

  arranged differently from those on women’s

  shirts?

  237

  WHY DO CLOCKS RUN CLOCKWISE? / xix

  WHY do the English drive on the left and just about

  everybody else on the right?

  238

  WHY is yawning contagious?

  238

  WHY do we give apples to teachers?

  238

  WHY does looking up at the sun cause us to sneeze?