When Do Fish Sleep? Read online

  WHEN DO

  FISH SLEEP?

  An Imponderables®

  Book

  David Feldman

  Illustrated by Kassie Schwan

  For Phil and Gilda Feldman

  Contents

  Preface

  Why Do Roosters Crow in the Morning?

  Why Do Many Hotels and Motels Fold Over the Last Piece of Toilet Paper in the Bathroom?

  Why Do Gas Gauges in Automobiles Take and Eternity to Go from Registering Full to Half-full, and Then Drop to Empty in the Speed of Light?

  How Is the Caloric Value of Food Measured?

  Who Put E on Top of the Eye Chart? And Why?

  Do the Police Really Make Chalk Outlines of Murder Victims at the Scene of the Crime? Why Do They Use Chalk?

  What Do Restaurants that Specialize in Potato Skins Do with the Rest of the Potato? What Do Restaurants that Specialize in Frogs’ Legs Do with the Rest of the Frog?

  If Water Is Heavier than Air, Why Do Clouds Stay Up in the Sky?

  Why Are There More Holes in the Mouthpiece of a Telephone than in the Earpiece?

  How Do Fish Return to a Lake or Pond that Has Dried Up?

  Why Do We Call Our Numbering System “Arabic” When Arabs Don’t Use Arabic Numbers Themselves?

  When You Are Driving Your Car at Night and Look Up at the Sky, Why Does It Seem that the Moon Is Following You Around?

  When Does a Calf Become a Cow?

  When One Has a Cold, Why Does Only One Nostril at a Time Tend to Get Clogged (Even Though Which Nostril Gets Clogged Can Change at Any Time)? Come to Think of It, Why Do We Need Two Nostrils in the First Place?

  Why Do New Fathers Pass Out Cigars?

  What Are Dimples? And Why Do Only Some People Have Them?

  Why Do Bath Towels Smell Bad After a Few Days When They Are Presumably Touching Only Clean Skin?

  How Do Stamp Pads Keep Moist When They Are Constantly Exposed to the Drying Influence of Air?

  Why Are Tupperware® Brand Products Sold Only at Parties? Couldn’t They Make More Money by Selling the Stuff in Stores Too?

  Why Do Monkeys in the Zoo Pick Through Their Hair All the Time? Why Do They Pick Through One Another’s Hair?

  Why Is Cheddar Cheese Orange?

  What Is the Circle Adjacent to the Batter’s Box on Baseball Fields?

  What Exactly Is One Hour Martinizing?

  What Flavor Is Bubble Gum Supposed to Be? Why Is Bubble Gum Usually Pink?

  Why Don’t Traffic Signal Light Bulbs Ever Seem to Burn Out? Can We Buy Them?

  Why Does Mickey Mouse Have Four Fingers?

  Why Don’t Migrating Birds Get Jet Lag? Or Do They?

  Why Do Some Hard-Boiled Egg Yolks Turn Gray or Green When Soft-Boiled Eggs Don’t Discolor?

  Why Are Tennis Balls Fuzzy?

  What Causes Floaters, or Spots, in the Eyes?

  Does It Ever Really Get Too Cold to Snow?

  Why Do Dogs Have Black Lips?

  If Church and State Are Supposed to be Separated in the United States, Why Do We Swear On Bibles in Courts? What Happens if a Witness Doesn’t Accept the Validity of the Bible?

  Why Do Females Tend to Throw “Like a Girl”?

  Given that the ZIP Code Defines the City and State, Why Do We Have to Include Both on Envelopes? Or Do We?

  Why Do Telephone Cords Spontaneously Twist Up? What Can One Do About this Dreaded Affliction?

  Why Do Golf Balls Have Dimples?

  Why Don’t Crickets Get Chapped Legs from Rubbing Their Legs Together? If Crickets’ Legs Are Naturally Lubricated, How Do They Make that Sound?

  Why Is a Navy Captain a Much Higher Rank than an Army Captain? Has This Always Been So?

  Why Do Astronomers Look at the Sky Upside Down and Reversed? Wouldn’t It Be Possible to Rearrange the Mirrors on Telescopes?

  Why Are the Rolls or Bread Served on Airlines Almost Always Cold While Everything Else on the Tray Is Served at the Appropriate Temperature?

  Why Do Chickens and Turkeys, Unlike Other Fowl, Have White Meat and Dark Meat?

  Why Haven’t Vending Machines Ever Accepted Pennies?

  Now that Most Products Sold in Vending Machines Sell for Fifty Cents or More, Why Don’t Most Vending Machines Accept Half Dollars or Dollar Bills?

  Why Is a Blue Ribbon Used to Designate First Prize?

  What Is the “Cottage” in Cottage Cheese?

  Why Are There So Many Ads for the Yellow Pages in the Yellow Pages?

  Why Is Flour Bleached?

  What Is Goofy?

  How Did the Toque Become the Traditional Chef’s Hat? Does It Serve Any Functional Purpose?

  When and Where Do Police Dogs Urinate and Defecate?

  How Can Hurricanes Destroy Big Buildings But Leave Trees Unscathed?

  Why Are Downhill Ski Poles Bent?

  Why Do So Many Mail-Order Ads Say to “Allow Six to Eight Weeks for Delivery”? Does It Really Take that Long for Companies to Process Orders?

  Why Are Silos Round?

  Why Does Dialing 9 Usually Get You an Outside Line in a Hotel? And Why Does 8 Open a Long-Distance Line?

  Why Can’t (Or Won’t) Western Union Transmit an Exclamation Mark in a Telegram?

  Why Do Telegrams End Sentences with STOP Rather than with a Period?

  Why Are Most Snack-Food Items, Such as Chips, Cakes, and Popcorn, Prepriced (on the Package) by the Manufacturers?

  Why Are the Commercials Louder than the Programming on Television?

  Why Is U.S. Paper Money Green When Most Countries Color-Code Their Currency?

  Why Do We Have to Close Our Eyes When We Sneeze?

  Why Don’t Grazing Animals that Roll in or Eat Poison Ivy Ever Seem to Get Blisters or Itching in Their Mouths?

  Why Don’t Queen-Sized Sheets Fit My Queen-Sized Bed?

  Why Is There Cotton Stuffed in Prescription and Over-the-Counter Medicine Bottles? What Happens If I Take Out the Cotton? Why Aren’t Alka-Seltzer Containers Stuffed with Cotton?

  Why Do Bagels Have Holes?

  Do the Digits in a Social Security Number Have Any Particular Meaning?

  Why Do the Light Bulbs in My Lamps Loosen After I’ve Put Them in Place?

  How Are Olives Pitted? How Do They Stuff Olives?

  Why Is One Side of a Halibut Dark and the Other Side Light?

  What Is the Difference Between a “Mountain” and a “Hill”?

  Why Aren’t There License Plates on the Back of Many Big Trucks on the Highway?

  Why Do Mayors Hand Out Keys to Their City?

  What Is the Purpose of the Beard on a Turkey?

  WHY Are Banking Hours So Short?

  Speaking of ATMs…When They Were Introduced, ATMs Were Supposed to Save Labor Costs for the Banks and Ultimately Save Money for the Customers. Now My Bank Is Charging Money for Each ATM Transaction. What Gives?

  Why Does Granulated Sugar Tend to Clump Together?

  Why Do Two Horses in an Open Field Always Seem to Stand Head to Tail?

  Why Does Your Whole Body Ache When You Get a Cold or Flu?

  How Did Romans Do the Calculations Necessary for Construction and Other Purposes Using Roman Numerals?

  Why Do Some Ice Cubes Come Out Cloudy and Others Come Out Clear?

  Why Are Most Pencils Painted Yellow?

  Why Do You Have to Use #2 Pencils on Standardized Tests? What Happens If You Use a #1 Pencil? What Is a #2 Pencil?

  Why Do Fish Eat Earthworms? Do They Crave Worms or Will Fish Eat Anything that Is Thrust upon Them?

  Why Are Stock Prices Generally Quoted in Eighths?

  Why Are Socks Angled at Approximately 115 to 125 Degrees When the Human Foot Is Angled at About 90 Degrees?

  Why Do Cattle Guards Work?

  W
hy Are There No A- or B-Sized Batteries?

  What Are Those Little Plastic Circles (that Sometimes Have Rubber in the Middle) Found on the Walls of Hotels?

  Why Does Starch Make Our Shirts Stiff?

  How Does the Campbell Soup Company Determine Which Letters to Put in Their Alphabet Soup? Are There an Equal Number of Each Letter? Or Are the Letters Randomly Inserted in the Can?

  What Is the Purpose of Corn Silk?

  Why Are U.S. Government Department Heads Called “Secretaries” Instead of “Ministers,” as in Most Other Countries?

  Why Is Prepackaged Chocolate Milk Thicker in Consistency than the Chocolate Milk You Make at Home?

  Why Do Fingernails Grow Faster than Toenails?

  Why Do We Dream More Profusely When We Nap than We Do Overnight?

  Why Do Place Kickers and Field-Goal Kickers Get Yardage Credit from Where the Ball Is Kicked and Yet Punters Only Get Credit from the Line of Scrimmage?

  How Does a Gas Pump “Know” When to Shut Off When the Fuel Tank Is Full?

  How Does the Treasury Know When to Print New Bills or Mint New Coins? How Does it Calculate How Much Money Is Lost or Destroyed by the Public?

  What Is the Purpose of that Piece of Skin Hanging from the Back of Our Throat?

  Why Don’t Birds Tip Over When They Sleep on a Telephone Wire?

  Why Is It Sometimes Necessary to Stroke a Fluorescent Lamp to Get It to Light?

  Why Is There an Expiration Date on Sour Cream? What’s the Matter, Is It Going to Get More Sour?

  Who Translates the Mail When a Letter Is Sent to the United States from a Foreign Country that Uses a Different Alphabet?

  Why Do Roaches Always Die on Their Backs?

  Why Does Warmth Alleviate Pain?

  Why Can’t We Use Both Sides of a Videotape like We Do with an Audio Tape?

  Why Are the Toilet Seats in Public Restrooms Usually Split Open in the Front?

  How Are the First Days of Winter and Summer Chosen?

  Why Do Most Cars Have Separate Keys for the Ignition and Doors? Doesn’t This Policy Increase the Chances of Locking Yourself Out of the Car?

  What’s the Difference Between Popcorn and Other Corn? Can Regular Corn Be Popped?

  What Does It Mean When We Have 20-20 or 20-40 Vision?

  How Does Yeast Make Bread Rise? Why Do We Need to Knead Most Breads?

  Why Do Doctors Tap on Our Backs During Physical Exams?

  Why Do Military Personnel Salute One Another?

  Why Do Recipes Warn Us Not to Use Fresh Pineapple or Kiwifruit in Gelatin? Why Can We Use Canned Pineapple in Gelatin?

  Where Is Donald Duck’s Brother?

  What causes Bags Under the Eyes?

  How Do Blind People Discriminate Between Different Denominations of Paper Money?

  When Not Flying, Why Do Some Birds Walk and Others Hop?

  Why Does String Cheese “String” When Torn Apart?

  Who Got the Idea of Making Horseshoes? Why are Horseshoes Necessary? What Would Happen If Horses Weren’t Shod?

  Why Are Tattoos Usually Blue (With an Occasional Touch of Red)?

  Why Is the Width of Standard Gauge Railroads Four Feet Eight-and-One-Half Inches?

  Why Is the Bathtub Drain Right Below the Faucet? Why Isn’t the Bathtub Drain on the Opposite Side of the Bathtub from the Faucet?

  Do Fish Sleep? If So, When Do Fish Sleep?

  Why Do We Seem to Feel Worse at Night When We Have a Cold?

  Why Do Many Dry Cleaning Stores Advertise Themselves as “French” Dry Cleaners? Is There Any Difference Between a French Dry Cleaner and a Regular Dry Cleaner?

  Why Do Kellogg’s Rice Krispies “Snap! Crackle! and Pop!”?

  Why Do So Many Cough Medicines Contain Alcohol?

  Why Do Letters Sent First Class Usually Arrive at Their Destination Sooner than Packages Sent by Priority Mail?

  Why Isn’t There a Holiday to Commemorate the End of the Civil War?

  Is It True that Permanents Don’t Work Effectively on Pregnant Women?

  Why Do Some Escalator Rails Run at a Different Speed from the Steps Alongside Them?

  Why Are There Lights Underneath the Bottom Steps of Escalators and Why Are They Green?

  Why Are Rented Bowling Shoes So Ugly?

  What’s the Difference Between Virgin Olive Oil and Extra Virgin Olive Oil?

  Why Are There Cracks on Sidewalks at Regular Intervals? What Causes the Irregular Cracking on Sidewalks?

  Why Do We Have to Shake Deodorant and Other Aerosol Cans Before Using?

  Why Do Airlines Use Red Carbons on Their Tickets?

  I Have a Dollar Bill with an Asterisk After the Serial Number: Is It Counterfeit?

  To What Do the Numbers Assigned to Automotive Oil Refer?

  When I Put One Slice of Bread in My Toaster, the Heating Element in the Adjacent Slot Heats Up as Well. So Why Does My Toaster Specify Which Slot to Place the Bread in If I Am Toasting Only One Slice?

  Why Are Almost All Cameras Black?

  Why Is There a Permanent Press Setting on Irons?

  What Causes Double-Yolk Eggs? Why Do Egg Yolks Sometimes Have Red Spots on Them?

  Why Are Barns Red?

  Why Are Manhole Covers Round?

  10 New Frustables

  Frustables Update

  Letters

  Acknowledgments

  Searchable Terms

  Master Index of Imponderability

  Help!

  About the Author

  Other Books by David Feldman

  Credits

  Cover

  Copyright